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Strange Thoughts
3 min read
Has anyone noticed that Golden Star Frontier is extremely emotionally draining to me.
Maybe I should just tone everything down.
I'm thinking of trying something else. I don't need the constant stomach heat flashes and emotional drain from making music, drawing and writing the way I do right now.
I THINK it's fun and cool to do. But I am starting to realize it's self destructive because of the way I personally look at it. There's some vague thoughts going on I can't explain that just over-stimulate me that I don't always entirely notice. It's just every day is a constant bombardment of GSF ideas and stomach heat flashes.
I just can't handle it right now. That song made that pain skyrocket. Whenever I think about it it's just depressing. Like it's the end and not in a prodigious way. Like I put too much into it that could of gone into other things. I just need to spread that skill out into better stuff.
Like what is that song even doing for me? It's just there in its lonely little corner. it got only 66 views and 2 likes. Sapping the life out of me when I listen to it. Not because of things you'd expect. What I'm hearing is not epicness, maybe the first few times. The sounds, chords and everything about it remind me of Golden Star Frontier. It's what I'd expect Golden Star Frontier music to sound like. Y'know that synthesized trumpet thing. Along with all the ideas I've come up with that have been over-stimulating me all these years. It doesn't remind me of a specific thing about GSF, but the entire thing.
I think it's starting to take things from me. Like time, my motivation, my self esteem, my sleep, my food. With what I want to do, while it is taking time it's time put into unnecessary things. When it could go into something different or at least somewhat similar to what I'm doing with it right now just differently......
Maybe I should just tone everything down.
I'm thinking of trying something else. I don't need the constant stomach heat flashes and emotional drain from making music, drawing and writing the way I do right now.
I THINK it's fun and cool to do. But I am starting to realize it's self destructive because of the way I personally look at it. There's some vague thoughts going on I can't explain that just over-stimulate me that I don't always entirely notice. It's just every day is a constant bombardment of GSF ideas and stomach heat flashes.
I just can't handle it right now. That song made that pain skyrocket. Whenever I think about it it's just depressing. Like it's the end and not in a prodigious way. Like I put too much into it that could of gone into other things. I just need to spread that skill out into better stuff.
Like what is that song even doing for me? It's just there in its lonely little corner. it got only 66 views and 2 likes. Sapping the life out of me when I listen to it. Not because of things you'd expect. What I'm hearing is not epicness, maybe the first few times. The sounds, chords and everything about it remind me of Golden Star Frontier. It's what I'd expect Golden Star Frontier music to sound like. Y'know that synthesized trumpet thing. Along with all the ideas I've come up with that have been over-stimulating me all these years. It doesn't remind me of a specific thing about GSF, but the entire thing.
I think it's starting to take things from me. Like time, my motivation, my self esteem, my sleep, my food. With what I want to do, while it is taking time it's time put into unnecessary things. When it could go into something different or at least somewhat similar to what I'm doing with it right now just differently......
This really all has to do with how I see Golden Star Frontier which I don't expect anyone to understand. Not just the fact I'm putting too much time into it, but also what it is, what it means to me and what I want to do with it. It seems to make me feel bad in strange ways as well regardless of the time I put into it.
But yeah here's the song again..... I'll shut up about this song now. When going to copy the link I just had to immediately mute it. It drives me insane. I'm glad I made it and I think it's a good thing, I guess that's what it took to pry me off of working on my hobby for a while along with giving me some depressing thoughts.
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Even more music.
1 min read
Feedback appreciated. The videos may not show up on mobile.
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A lot of music I've made recently.
1 min read
Yeah, still going at it. I haven't posted my music here in quite some time. I'd like to think I'm making progress. The top is the newest and the bottom is the oldest. Hope you like it to whoever see's it. Don't head bang too hard.
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I tried to make an extratone song.
1 min read
When it comes to something this intense it's kind of hard to find what to work with. Also, I'm not sure but I think if you're on mobile you won't be able to see the video.
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Golden Star Frontier - Proxima
1 min read
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